You are all too nice. You are all too helpful. You are all too positive.
These were the some of the “problems” we ran into in making our decision. We had large numbers visit the blog, post on our Facebook pages, call us and talk to us. Everyone must had collaborated beforehand because we only heard one thing.
Sure, it may be tough, but you should go for it!
Nearing week’s end, and having multiple conversations like these, we were still unsure. The first few who jumped in with comments on the blog showing support gave us some confidence if we said yes, but where was the viewpoint on the other side? Would anyone talk us through the reason that maybe we shouldn’t do it?
Another day here, another supportive comment. However, the lingering thought still remained. Is this right for our family? It’s a decision only we could make.
We invited pastor to come up a visit with us about it. He helped us with these thoughts. First, don’t look for any signs to make your decision. Second, we’d reach a point where we could make the decision and be at peace with it. Third, do not feel guilt over saying no.
There it was. That was probably the element of saying no that weighed the most heavy. If we say no, how could we live with it? What’s most important to understand is that we are making a decision that best works for us and our family. As he told us, we are choosing between two good situations. Either we potentially add a family member, or we get more time with Eva.
The weekend came, and the decision was more clear. Once we knew it was okay to say no, we became at peace with our answer.
Our answer was yes.
There was a pressure that decision had laid on us. Everyone said we should do it. Our hearts told us to do it. The knowledge that having a blood sibling would mean the world to a grown-up Eva. These all said we HAD to do it, but that’s not a choice. Once we felt we had a choice, it gave us the peace in our hearts to make it and be happy with it.
So, what now? As you may know, we really only decided on being an option for our birthmother. Here’s what can happen now.
1. Birthmother/father can decide to parent the child
2. Birthparents can choose a different couple
3. Birthparents can choose us.
Suffice to say, we are not painting a new nursery yet. There are still many months to go before this precious new child is born and many things can happen between now and then. Please keep them in your prayers now, that they bring this child into the world healthy, and that they decide who the best caregivers for this child would be, whether it’s 1, 2 or 3.
Today, we are happy to say that 3 is an option.