It’s been a while since I’ve written a post, but I am feeling the urge to write one tonight. Unfortunately, these urges tend to happen late at night (or early in the morning depending how you look at it). Tonight I am awake because I am still on a high from an incredible, yet emotional week. The week’s climax was Eva’s finalization with the grand finale of a wonderful party in the park this evening.
Although I’ve been looking forward to the finalization of Eva’s adoption for months, this day was a mix of emotions. It started out lying awake in bed the evening prior. I suddenly blurt out to Scott, “What are we going to say when the judge asks us why we want to adopt?!” You may think that is an easy question to answer, but it is very personal to each person. There isn’t exactly a right or wrong answer, but will it be what the judge wants to hear? Thus commences a very restless night of sleep where I dreamt of every possible horrible scenario that could play out at court. I don’t remember them now, but they were sure vivid at the time. Those of you that know me well know that while Scott is the eternal optimist, I am the pessimist. While I dream about these catastrophic scenarios, Scott dreams about towers of VHS tapes!
Everything runs very smoothly in the morning and we make it to court plenty early…45 minutes early. While I am keeping it together, I am nothing but jitters. I feel like at any moment I could break into hysterical laughter or tears…not sure which one. The judge finally comes in. He says his bit. Then he declares Eva legally our and signs the adoption decree. Wait?! That was it? That was the big moment I’ve been agonizing over? No questions asked? Where are the church bells? Where are the ceremonial jet fly-overs? Where are the choirs of angels singing? Most of all, where is that change in me?! Shouldn’t I feel different now? Afterall, Eva is now our child, free and clear…but then again, Eva has always been our child. While I may not have given birth to her, we have cared for her, nurtured her, and provided for her since birth. Still, this is a monumental moment…afterall, her last name is now Klein! While I may not feel this change, I am still full of joy and love for our child in this moment. So much so that I don’t notice the glob of blood rising on my cheek. Apparently Eva had gouged my face during the proceedings.
The mood changes a little that afternoon when we visit our lawyer’s office to sign our wills. Talk about catastrophic thinking…this should be right up my alley! Really it was just a matter of convenience. My parents were in town, so they were able to babysit while we went downtown. The court also likes to see that you are providing for your new child even in the event of your death…so, we signed our wills.
The last few days have been spent madly preparing for this evening’s party. As of a week ago, it looked like there would be 5 people at the party (the 3 of us being part of that 5). Thanks to the modern age of Facebook events, people finally RSVP’d and I could stop thinking that all our friends were either a figment of my imagination or just pretending to like us. As of Friday morning (the party was Saturday) we had not yet figured out centerpieces or a unique guest book idea. After a morning of pinteresting and an evening of shopping and crafting…which continued into Saturday…we came up with quite extravagant centerpieces and a unique guest book (quilt). Of course there is always a mini crisis which occurs right before any event. This mini crisis occured when I put on my clothes and noticed a giant stain…I frantically throw my shirt in the wash and pray that it will be done in time. All works out, things get set up, we seem to have the right amount of food, the turn out was great (yay, people really do like us! Or they just like Eva. Funny how we seemed to make all these friends once Eva was born…hmm), and Eva happily went along with being passed from person to person…with plenty of smiles to share. Somehow she knew this party was all about her! I move about from person to person, trying to talk to them all. Before we knew it, people had left and it was time to clean up. What a whirlwind.
When all was said and done, this week reminded me of another monumental event in my life…our wedding. This was yet another event that had much anticipation (complete with a night of catastrophic dreaming), and required so much planning, but when all was said and done, I didn’t really feel any different (even though my name was now Klein!) and the reception was a whirlwind where I began wondering why people had left so early (it had been 3 hours). In the end, both events added a member to our family. Both events will always be remembered…even if I didn’t hear the heralding trumpets.