When we took our adoption classes, we were told that 80% (or was it 90%) of people approve of adoption. I wondered why not 100%? Here’s the reasons I could think of :
1. Someone could equate adoption with foster care (similar, but not the same). They may have, or know someone who had their kids put into to foster care, which causes all sorts of hard feelings.
2. Stories like the man in Ohio who adopted a number of children only to abuse them, passes a bad light on adoption
3. Some people have strong feelings on bloodlines, that nothing is more important than blood.
4. Perhaps some pushback on the number of celebrity adoption stories, like Angelina Jolie and Madonna. Perhaps you might not approve because you’d hate to agree with Madonna? (a reach, I suppose)
Well, I have a fifth reason now. Forced adoptions. This story I found on Yahoo was a sad one to read. Children taken from mothers knowingly (and unknowingly) all because of how someone defines what a good family is. Anyone who’s been affected by this will almost definately have trepidation about adoption.
We feel strongly that our daughter was brought to us by God, albeit through unconventional means. What shocks me is how these trusted people played God themselves, determining the parents of a child against their own standards. It’s a slippery slope. One person may find a single mother unfit, the next may find that we’re unfit because we both work. It’s a terrible story, and I’m glad that it’s been brought to light.
This is not a surprise to us, as we are one of 55% of adoptive families that have a fully open relationship with their birth parents. In fact, only 5% of adoptions are considered fully closed, the other 40% sending pictures/letters through an intermitterary.
The thing that made me think a little bit is the inverse trends over time of wanting contact between the two parties. Especially for the adopted child, the older they get, the more contact they’d likely want to have. Yet, interest usually diminishes for the birth parents over time. It should be interesting how our relationship with our birth parents evolves over the years.