God's Child, Our Joy

An adoptive family's journey in faith and life

Wait, Wait, Don’t Tell Me

2 Comments

So you’ve read the post about how they were contemplating inducing last Friday. At the time, I omitted my internal response to the situation:

“WAIT! I’m not ready!”

How can that be? We’ve know for 3+ months now. We have diapers. The nursery  is ready. The Vikings  have graciously decided to not be competitive this year so I’m not distracted on Sundays this month. What happened?

I think my initial “Wait, I’m not ready!” response was pretty typical. What may be different are the reasons my mind came up with. They were mostly superficial. I haven’t cut my hair, it’s going to be poofy in all the first baby pictures! We have all sorts of empty boxes at home that need to be cleaned up! It can’t happen until after Friday, that’s when my work’s Christmas party is! I have yet to rotate my long sleeve shirts ahead of my short sleevers! I’m not ready!

It’s true and not true at the same time. You can never be ready, but I can’t be any more ready than I am now. I think that the suddenness of it caught me off guard. If my dentist called up and said “Hey, I’m on vacation for our original appointment, can you come in this afternoon?”, I’d be thinking the same thing. I’m not ready! I didn’t brush my teeth extra specially good this morning. I haven’t properly fretted about my floss use. I was going to watch Monster’s Inc. this afternoon, now when will I watch it? I’m not ready!

Then time happens. You realize you can watch Monster’s Inc later. You’re no longer obligated on that future date. Fretting gets you nowhere. Most importantly, it matters little what brushing you did today, but what care you took in the months beforehand. Just the same with this adoption, it’s the preparation before today that matters the most.

Just today, we received an update from our birthmother. She’s having discomfort (not unusual for a pregnant lady), and it feels like the baby is moving down in to her pelvis more. One step closer. I’m still not ready, yet ever more ready than before.

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2 thoughts on “Wait, Wait, Don’t Tell Me

  1. We weren’t ready either…I had my c-section scheduled for 9 days before my due date (Little Man wasn’t cooperating with being cooped up inside and refused to turn around to make it easier to get out) and we weren’t ready then, we came home still not ready…and here we are a year down the road and, guess what? We’re still not ready.

    I “nested” for a good three months, trying to get everything taken care of and, in the end, nothing was finished to my ridiculously high standards of perfection and I just let it go.

    My house is still a mess. There are still boxes in Little Man’s room. There are bins of clothing he no longer fits into just sitting in there, waiting to be moved downstairs. The living room is strewn with toys (Little Man did that). My office is a dumping ground. The list goes on.

    You’re never going to be ready. And that’s okay. No one is ever ready (and those that say they are, are totally lying).

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