God's Child, Our Joy

An adoptive family's journey in faith and life

“Baby, We Were Meant For Each Other”

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I took a break from my baby brain book, and decided it was time to read an adoption book. The book we chose was called Baby, We Were Meant For Each Other, by Scott Simon. You might know him from NPR. He and his wife adopted two daughters from China.

The book was wonderfully written, and you can tell the joy adoption has brought to his life. Instead of writing a review, I thought I’d post some quotes that I thought were really great.

On ‘the call’ :
“A month before, this moment couldn’t have happened fast enough. Now it was here; and we weren’t ready.”

On bringing her home :
“What have we done? What were we thinking? We’ve ripped a baby away from the only place she’s ever known, to bring her some place on the other side of the world that might as well be the moon. What kind of people are we?”

“And in that moment of deep, condensed, and intense silence, Caroline and I realized that in the space of an afternoon, our lives had suddenly developed a few new and indisputable truths. That my wife and I loved each other even more than we had a few hours ago. That we loved no one on earth more than this new, small, squalling, hungry, thirsty, and occasionally ornery human being that was now ours. Our baby had opened new chambers in our hearts. And we realized: our daughter hated us.”

Parenthood :
“Real parenthood is earned.”

When picking up their second child, they thought the child brought to them didn’t match the picture. Their first daughter looked at her :
“She said softly, “It doesn’t matter.”

Parent advice from friends :
“They seem eager to teach us that the perfectly hatched chicks we hold in our arms have been wired with time bombs set to turn them into snarling demons when they strike thirteen.”

What children give us :
“They give us a living stake in the world beyond our own short lives.”

A future worry :
“What will we answer when one of our daughters asks, “How come almost all of us are girls?”

How to be a parent :
“To be a parent, according to Confucius, is to act like one.”

Bonding :
“the extraordinary bond by adoption.”

On his fears about birthmother :
“We’ll be goddamned if someone who gave you up can just waltz into our lives when all the hard work is done and walk away with your love, like a woman who wins $50 million on a three-dollar lottery ticket. Just because you entered this world through her uterus!”

Adoption vs. Pregnancy :
“Pregnancies can be accidental,” he reminds us. “Adoptions never are. Those of us who are adopted have every reason to feel snug and secure. Loved above and beyond, really.”

Children :
“All parents have to cheerfully and tearfully accept that their children belong to the world.”

At the end of the day, their message to their daughters :
“You can be sure of us.”

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